How to administrate the couple's money
The administration of the couple's income is a very delicate subject and an inevitable source of conflicts in general. Here are some suggestions that could help that economy leads to love and not war.
The money in the couple
One of the most difficult subjects to deal with in marriage is money, because money is surrounded by lies, remorse and even humiliation that could break relationships.
The principal trigger of economic conflicts is the lack of honesty and clear communication between the couple.
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Keys to a good economy as a couple
The elements that can't miss in relationships that prevent money from interfering in a relationship are:
- Communication: an honest conversation helps to have agreements.
- Tolerance: it's important to respect each one's opinion when it comes to money.
- Equality: the economy of the family is the responsibility of both members in the marriage equally, even if their incomes aren't the same or one of them doesn't have a paid job.
- Flexibility: it's the possibility to adapt to new situations that occurred through all of their life together.
- Planning: Spend some time setting counts in order is an essential task to avoid discussions and surprises.
- Independence: that each member of the marriage has some money of their own doesn't jeopardize the relationship, it makes it healthier.
- Equanimity: money is the way to obtain other things. It must be use for the couple's benefit.
- Balance: it is good to save money and administrate it with common sense, but it's also good to give yourself a treat now and then.
To maintain balance, the members of the couple should have access to some money "secret".
Share but not everything
Distribute the costs and savings is important
Besides love and sexuality, couples must be clear about the distribution of expenses.
Good examples are couples that, aside from who provides more money, have a fair attitude to establish economic equality and avoid possible conflicts, but it doesn't mean that they have to share absolutely everything. Putting the money in a unique bank account may turned out to be risky if, for example, one of them expends more than the other, or if they don't talk about what they expend.
The freedom to manage some of the money in private
To maintain some balance, members of the couple must have a certain "secret" space. Lack of independence, although symbolic, creates friction. Then it is good to have a joint account where they could put all the money for house expenses, kid's expenses included. But, besides, it's important that each one maintains its personal account.
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This doesn't mean that you shouldn't use it for regular payments when you need to. But both members of the couple should have some private money that they could administrate and control without giving explanations. This allows them to feel freer.
Finding a balance in the money subject is always hard. Therefore, a good communication is essential and both of them have to allow themselves to renegotiate every time that they need to. That's the only way to avoid misunderstandings.
